im not speechless here

I get jealouse wen i see other couples came out to be so sweet and loving.. I get jealoused seeing my fwens are having a smooth relationship.. Sometimes i also wonder, isit the him i met was the reason for all or it is me who make myself into a big mess.. Its been a freaking looong time since i hv this thought but because im easily impressed a smaall sweetness can make me forget every single thing but still tis feelings of pain will come back soon and it became worst… I admit, sometimes i feel like i nvr wan to even knw you as someone could treat me better.. I told you that before. I told you that i like the wayy how things is goin on, but u make it in another way… Wat? Am i too hard too handle?

Just a little of sweetness, lovingg, manjee is it too hardd? Smooth talk, sweet words, random kisses.. Heh<3 wen u start being angry n show me faces, harsh words, leaving me all alone i feel like… Wathehell are you duing? I remembered the day wen im sooo happy, im soo proud of you n i make that a memoriable day wen you lifted me up witout any fights eventho i made you mad, u manage to control it n eventho im in a wrong n you say in a smooth way that u are sory, i knw its my fault but a little givin in is not hard.. If u coulf do that why not now? That is why i say you’ve freaaking change.! Am i not that easy? If u where to be wit other ladylike like me, i can swear tht she will ask for brk on the spot loong ago… Its becouse you are not used to it, n ur world are way different thn mine, i can understand.. But i dun see the reason why dun you understand wat im facing???!

Yes you have not dun any of this to any of or ex thn now im telling, im amm a gurl who need a “sweet loving undrstanding guy trustworth it n someone who will share his story to me every day NO sarcustic talk, care especiaally about my feelings.. You show me this, suffers for me make me happy for one whole week to prove it, PROVE IT that you LOVE me.. Thn i knw n see ur effort in saving this relationship.. Thn i knw u are trying hard..

Patientpatient is all it need, if others can, why cant you? Now ive tell you everything, pls pls, i beg to death at least dun show my ur f attitude, n shw me full love thats the LEAST you can do… Monday is coming, pls:,( apply all the things that u knw i like it wen u do it… Ill be hoping alort bcox if u still cnt do it, i dun see the reason why i should be suffering everday wen a hav a boyfwen.. Take note : BOy-FWEn.. All i knw is that im a gurl that wants a loving boy… Weneve i say break up, its not really a BREAk the reason is i wan you to feel why am i asking for brk, wat wen wrong? Theresl was ones wen you day u will fight for my love, why aren you fighting? Your answers is, ” its your desicion? Wathehell are you saying?? I wan to hear that u dun wan, u freaking dun wan, n u still freaking love me… Is that it?

Uve read the book about my ex duing that to me, n i take backnmy words of breaking up.. Uve read it! Why are you freaking making my life miserable in just a snap of finger? I knw, u dun learn abt the way i aam.. I do.. I learn that you are hotheaded, cn be loving sometime, yes you also care for me, but u dun really care about my feelings.. You dun really trust me because i lie dometime n the reason why i lie( take note ) wenever i tell you the truth, i knw how you would react eventho i ask u to chill before hearing wat im trying to say.. U say ok, u won be angry, but u did. If you are one understanding person, i wouldn hv to lie.. U wan the truth ryte? Dun f show me attitude after i tell you somthing.. If not i won be telling you anything anymore considering that u just cant control wen im here tryimg to tell you something.. I hav a test in everything, i learn about people, i learn about wat eill happen wen this thing happen so to avoid it frm happening, i will do watever it takes.. If i were to lie pon, its not a lie, its a noble lie..

If u read this n start getting mad than i dun knw wat to say… Its a fact.. Pls baby, if you love me.. Pls, lets not fight n be in a honeymoon period like we used to.. Anything not happy, don, i repeat, dun show it lets just talk n settle it.. I swaer if u did that, i cn understand u better.. N pls dun show ur attitude to my fwens, becox im ashamed wenever they say staff that hurts me…

If u understand wat im trying to say, than alhamdullilah<3